We Judge Appearances

I am currently reading Nobody’s Princess by Esther Friesner. The book is a spin off on the famous story, the Iliad, by Homer. The book takes place in Sparta and is from the point of view of Helen, as a young girl growing up. She was beautiful even as then and, in these stories, she is to one day become the queen of Sparta. Everyone loves Helen for her beauty and always speaks of how she is almost as “beautiful as Aphrodite” (the Greek goddess of beauty and love). The one person who dislikes Helen for her beauty is her paternal twin sister, Clytemnestra. Clytemnestra was the one who always tried her hardest to do everything right. She sews, carts wool and uses the loom. She has to be the perfect little ten year old. Even then Clytemnestra feels like she is living in the shadow of Helen. Helen is the beautiful one as well as the future queen. She gets all the attention without even trying. This makes Clytemnestra upset. Why should she have to do all of this work to get attention when Helen can simply enter a room and have all eyes turn towards her? On one hand I think Clytemnestra’s resentment towards her sister who did nothing wrong is unjust. At the same time my heart goes out to her. She has to put up with so much just to get people to notice her. It isn’t her fault that her sister is incredibly beautiful. Just because she isn’t as “pretty” doesn’t mean she has less value. As much as society has changed since Ancient Greece, one thing that hasn’t is how much we value appearance.

            Lets not deny it; we care about how we look. I know I spend plenty time in the morning doing my hair and make-up just right and picking out the right outfit for that day. We are a nation of dieters, calorie counters, acne medication commercials and weight loss products, not because we want to be healthier, but because we want to look nicer. We make judgments about people and things often before even speaking just because of how they look. It matters to us. Clytemnestra had to work hard to make people glance at her while Helen didn’t have to try at all. Is that really fair? Clytemnestra should not have to work five times harder then Helen just to get people to look her way because Helen is considered more beautiful. That isn’t right. Just like it is not right that someone should get picked on in a school because they are not considered “pretty”. No matter what people say, we care about appearances and we judge people on them, and it is not okay.

            Part of why we judge peoples appearance has to do with genetics. Some people say it is human nature or natural selection. Maybe that is true. But giving that as a reason for judging a person based on appearance just sounds like laziness to me. We are human beings with highly functioning brains. We don’t HAVE to judge people. We choose to, because it’s easier. In truth it’s difficult to not judge people’s appearances and I wont ask anyone to never judge an appearance. I have just one simple request: Try to not judge. Next time you catch yourself judging a person’s appearance, step back and ask yourself what you really know about them. You might be surprised.