The Friend's Dilemma

*WARNING: THIS PARAGRAPH CONTAINS SPOILERS*

I am currently reading Carter’s Big Break by Ben Crawford. The book is about a kid named Carter who gets the lead in a big movie opposite teen sensation Hilary Idaho. While they are shooting the two of them become friends and Carter begins to suspect that he may be the only real friend she has, famous or otherwise. Hillary has a lot of issues though. She drinks, does drugs and has just come back from rehab for alcohol abuse. Carter smells booze on her breath and he doesn’t know what to do. No one else seems to care as long as she performs in the movie. He feels that he will be responsible if anything happens because she was drinking and he didn’t stopping it. This made me think about what I call the friend’s dilemma.

The friend’s dilemma is when your friend is doing something that is harmful (to themselves or others) and you are aware of it. What do you do? If you do nothing, then are you partially responsible for anything that happens because of what your friend did? You did just stand by and watched them hurt themselves or let them hurt someone else. On one hand you should not be held responsible for another persons actions. They are their own human being and beyond your control. On the other hand if you just stand by and let something happen then you are responsible because you did nothing. You let someone get hurt and you could have stopped it.

 But what if you try to do something but it’s not enough? When does all responsibility lift off the shoulders of the friend?  This is a hard question partly because it varies from situation to situation. There really is no right answer. However, in the eyes of the friend, it is often their fault no matter how hard they tried to help.

In a perfect world people wouldn’t do bad things and everyone would be responsible for their actions alone. This is not the case however. We are responsible for bad things that happen if we had the power to stop them. In the end if you really care about someone then you will try to help them in anyway you can, whether they want the help or not.